Ray the Wise
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Everything posted by Ray the Wise
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Stuck in the beer freezer at Ralph's. Pinned under crates of sh*tty beer. Send help. Sent with my Blackberry Storm.
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Wait I think it's actually Ralphs. Like not the possessive form but the form where there's apparently many Ralphs. Either way, send help. Sent with my Blackberry Storm.
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Oh, never mind. I managed to get out by myself. But now I reek of Dos Equis - Or, as I like to call it, Doggie Piss.
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XD
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Maybe.
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What the hell is going on in Middle East ?
Ray the Wise replied to Semper Fidelis's topic in [EN] Off Topic
That's the sound of my concern. I usually eat crackers and breathe heavily when I'm concerned about world events. Which has been happening A LOT lately. -
Happy 2013 to all the party people. Hopefully this will be a year during which I wreak more havoc than usual.
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haha! anyway IDK!
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That's the end result of trying to catch Kony!!
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lol
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I used to have a diorama of that time when Meryl Streep attempted to get away with a hit-and-run in a parking lot but then her car got stuck and she got confronted by onlookers and went berserk, attacking one of them with a pair of shoes. I believe it was 1/24th scale or something. Very detailed and all - it even had those little miniature doll shoes. But then I sold it in a yard sale to a woman who looked suspiciously like Meryl Streep wearing those huge Lady Gaga hooker sunglasses. Talk about someone who would rather buy everyone's silence than accept they've made a mistake and move the f*ck on.
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What the hell is going on in Middle East ?
Ray the Wise replied to Semper Fidelis's topic in [EN] Off Topic
*strange heavy breathing noise, like someone breathing with a mouthful of masticated crackers* -
Busy with sh*t.
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Well that's even better. That means the position is open. I decided to rethink my approach. You can't spell Vice Squad without Miami Vice - well, actually, you can, but it's not my point. My point is screw muscle cars - I want a white convertible Testarossa with a Florida license plate that reads "WISE 1". It's more my style. I've also got a couple pastel suits I can bring from home.
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Which part? I guess the fedora might be a little over the top.
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Is there any room in there for Detective Ray Alfonso Wise of the Vice Squad? I'm looking for a place where I can virtually wear a fedora, drive a muscle car aggressively, kick down doors, carry a bigass shotgun and yell. I made up the Alfonso part, by the way. It's my cop name. Oh and if I can't have the shottie, I'll settle for Dirty Harry's 44 Magnum. You know what? Actually I'd like to have both. And also a Thompson model 1928 with a drum mag, those things are wicked.
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Why, thank you! You want to make them awesomer? Try reading them in your head with my smooth baritone voice. Theeeere you go. Ain't that just one degree more awesome than it was?
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By the way it was The Wicker Man, not The Omen. The Omen had Julia Stiles in it. Oh the things I'd do to her.
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Is that another reference to Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2? And here's the clip I was referring to before anyone starts calling me a nutjob: Man, that guy is intense. And not in a good way either. Look at it closely, the bees are everywhere BUT in his eyes. Moron.
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What? No, it's just an hilarious line blurted out by Nick Cage in The Omen. Rented it on Netflix this afternoon. It sucked. Nick Cage sucks too.
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OH, NO! NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! AAAAAHHHHH! OH, THEY'RE IN MY EYES! MY EYES! AAAAHHHHH! AAAAAGGHHH!
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Zip ties are God's gift to the common handyman. And probably also to rapists.
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:o Never though of it that way
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So this guy comes up to me and says "I know you". Then he adds, "You're Piers Morgan". I hit him out of spite.
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haha, funny!!
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Liberty City Federal Bureau of Investigation
Ray the Wise replied to Sgt Alex4028's topic in [EN] Off Topic
I thought "dumb" had been repealed as a bad word since 1973. Or maybe you meant "domb", which kind of sounds like "dong", which might be regarded as offensive if you've got a perverted mind. -
Liberty City Federal Bureau of Investigation
Ray the Wise replied to Sgt Alex4028's topic in [EN] Off Topic
What do you mean, "another"? -
Liberty City Federal Bureau of Investigation
Ray the Wise replied to Sgt Alex4028's topic in [EN] Off Topic
If you're the guy on the right in your profile picture, you look like Harry Potter if that asshole with no nose had stolen his magic glasses. It's a compliment by the way, I enjoy most of the stuff that Daniel Radcliffe does, save for those creepy naked shenanigans with the horses. -
In-N-Out used to be my favorite, but after the incident with the Bin Laden lookalike, I can't go there anymore, save from when I'm wearing one of my crazy disguises... but then again, none of them are really practical for eating. The closest Five Guys from me is the one at the Westfield mall over in Culver City - which isn't close at all. I drove all the way there once, but as I was looking for a parking spot, a man exposed himself to me in the parking lot and then I wasn't really that hungry anymore... I hate Culver City. Every single time I go there, some f***ed up s**t happens, usually involving the unwanted sight of a man's genitals.
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Laura Bush killed a guy.
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Yeah.
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lol Family Guy
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Maybe this guy will come back as a robot. Like Alex Murphy.
